Bet(te)rayal...

Have you ever thought and re-thought over some simple action of yours, and didn't know exactly how you should feel about it?

Today, Sil sent me a friends request on a social networking site and I accepted it immediately. I was so glad to connect with her after so many years, after all she's always been my favorite. Even after all the events of the past, I always had a soft corner for her. She's never done anything wrong to me. In fact, Loui Loui and I were amongst the only few that she liked and treated well from Figo's side.

I still remember my first meeting with Sil in Gangsta's wedding. Figo had introduced us and we clicked immediately. We kicked off so well that I was by her side the whole time. In fact in her support I had taken cold beef with many of me folks, some still exists. I never cared then and I don't care now either. Sil had actually got me closer to Figo, who emotionally never existed in me life before.  I always thought Sil was too good for Figo. Many a times I really felt ashamed for thinking so low of Figo, but any sane person would have said/thought the same about the duo. Sil was kinda Figo's jackpot, which Figo didn't deserve at all!

In my journey so far, I have found very few people of substance. Sil is definitely one of them. She's nobody to me in this crazy world but she definitely means much more than the hollow Figo. Figo's and mine is same origin but that doesn't make him any special to me. Except the fact that we are in constant touch, practically there in each other's joys and sorrows. I don't approve of him mainly 'coz he almost ruined his and Sil's life. I had always seen many similarities between Sil and I. This is one of the many reasons why I think so highly of her. I am so glad to be in touch with her after so many years. I know Figo and many others are just gonna hate me for this which is why I am feeling the pinch. These are one of those rare moments where I keep self before everything/body else. I don't see this as betrayal to Figo but bet(te)rayal to Sil and most importantly to my self!

Image courtesy: wyliefuscos.blogspot.com

gratitude rock!

Inspired from The Secret...

I am thankful for following things that have happened to me life:

being born as me, with everything that is only mine
for the wonderful, loving and caring  parents
for all the courage and strength to overcome difficulties
for all the joyous moments and memories
for all the ambitions, dreams and successes
for all the friends an their support especially Bammi, Paplet, Clown and Loui-loui
for all the guidance and the ability to chose whats ''right'' for me
for all the well wishers and nice people in the surrounding
for being in sound health of body and mind
for being able to love myself and be a great company to myself

I Love my life and a big heartfelt  thank you for it :)

Setting sun!

"For he once was a son, a brother and an educated man. He married an aristocratic beauty, thus became the husband, the provider. He fathered four children, three boys and a girl. Fate took away the girl when she was 9, shock and grief left him a lunatic wife. He was a miser, a failure in business and a stone hearted noble man. He discouraged his sons about education, refrained them from meager luxuries of life. Only one of his boys was determined enough to be somebody in the world. Against all his wishes the son got him the ordinary, out of their league daughter in law. Unhappy yet accommodating he managed just fine with her. In his greed, he compelled his heir to give up and thus lost his second son. Birth of his grandchild, the baby girl was may be the happiest day of his and wife's life. He always saw his dead girl in the latest addition of his family. With evaporating time, his wife lost faith in life thus leaving him alone with his youngest boy, a grown up man by now. Lack of love and family made his son the black sheep. Lost the third son to what must not be named. The son that he kicked out of his life once was the only one left for him. The son and his families tried their best to accommodate him in their lives. Incorrigible as he always was tore himself apart from a life of comfort and royalty. Back to the life of misery and poverty he recalled the son. Son couldn't ignore his father's melancholy and took him back but with a half heart and a haunted mind. Son had given up all his feelings for the murderer of his childhood, his siblings and ultimately his mother. At 83, instead of leading a peaceful life in his territory our man gets involved in brawls with everybody around. Run awayed the nth time, no one waits for him now. Nothing to eat, no place to call home. He brings his misery on road. It's the duty, reputation and social influence of this son for whom he had never been more than a limitation in life that finally earns him a bed in the old age home!''


In the loving memory of Kokaliya's dadu...

like a band-aid!

F**k!!!

Once again the manipulative bitch has sneaked in my life. No matter how much I try to keep my arse out of this crap, I somehow manage to drag myself into it. Last time, it was her wedding invite this time it was friends request on a social networking site. I was pi**ed instantaneously. I sat patiently wondering what to do? I could either accept or decline her request, so simple, isn't it? It actually ain't so simple for me hence few futile minutes later I simply left my computer. My last four yeas started flashing in front of my eyes. 

Finally, I decided to decline the request. I accepted the request instead! I was not happy with what I had done. So, I removed her from my friend list and closed the chapter. Until, I received one more request from her. This time I simply ignored it. Took my own sweet time to respond. I thought and re thought over that mellow dramatic saga. While retrospecting, I subtly realized that she who mattered once doesn't mean a thing now. However she did mean something at some point of time. For every good, bad and ugly treatment of hers she deserves to be in the friends list. 

This whole manipulative bitch chapter of my life is a lot happening yet very depressing piece of me. I was sick and tired of hiding it in my closet. So, here I am embracing it with arms wide open and with a smile (naah, not filmy style). There were people, there were issues and I was involved. I am out of it and now it's just another part of my past. I think I have passed the haterade phase of my life over this issue. It was a year old wound hidden beneath the band-aid. I am glad that I could finally rip off the band-aid to realise that my wound has healed perfectly without leaving any scar behind!

P.S. realized that life is ephemeral and fragile to deal with grudges, hence ignorance. We can never be best of buddies but I find no harm in being cordial.

On a very serious note, 

haso, muskurao, kya pata kal ho naa ho?

Me World!

I Baked for Mother's day!

My life began in her and it still revolves around her. Mum is the world for me and I know she will always be the main reason for me to feel alive. All my dreams, aspirations of life are more for my mum than for me. If you think that my mum is out of the world, she personifies sacrifice, love and care then you are totally wrong!

Me mum is just an ordinary woman, with her own set of strengths and limitations. In fact, me and mum are like Tom n Jerry, always delighted to fight. I always had a very different relationship with mum, different at every phase of my life. I love to live in my present rather than in past or in future, so this current phase is my most favorite one where she is everything to me!

These days, she has her secret insane joy reserved for my these lines, ''you know maa, there are only two people who love and care the most about you, one was your mother and the other one is you daughter. Unfortunately, these are the only two who get to see the crazy and stubborn you, unlike the rest of the world. These are the only two people who are insanely considerate about you and may be these are the only to people who have to face the brunt of your tantrums!'' always followed by a good laugh from both of us.

As time goes by, I am growing more and more concerned about my mom. I only hope that she manages well in times without me, until we are together again. I feel that we have kinda swapped our places where I have become the worried soul and she's become the incorrigible one ;)

Needless to say, Love you mama, love you so very much!
Happy mother's day...

Couldn't think of a better song than this!

chocos ME cereal killer!

It's very very difficult for me to say that something has been a steady part of me routine... I got to really get addicted to something to include it in me daily routine, momentary though!

I strongly believe that change is essential and most importantly inevitable. Everything goes, nothing stays. Neither the good times of life nor the bad ones! Change is what makes it different from the usual. Those who flow with change actually do master it and rise and shine on it's surface. Unlike those who show rigidity towards it and sink at it's bottom in the wake of their protest!

All said and done about the inevitable change. This brings to the change in my breakfast from parantha to Chocos - the chocolate flavored cereals with cold milk. Currently, I am lovin' it!!!

CooL Drinks and ME

"Cool Drinks!!"... Lol... ever since i have heard this term from an ex colleague, I have always found it worth a laugh!

My first ever cold drink that I recollect was Mango fruity. As I grew up orange soda replaced mango drinks. Fanta being the most preferred brand over it's competitors.

There was this phase too when lemon based drinks like 7up, sprite, mountain dew were adding on calories to me life!

At the moment I am hooked to all the colas and Pepsi is my current favorite!