mad mad mad mad mad LOVE!!!!

Our love is volatile, chemical,

Anything but typical ...

I want you badly,

I love you madly...

To begin with, the very first frame of mad love will give you 'How I Met Your Mother' feel. The feeling continues throughout the season so far. Having said so, Mad Love is not a bad or an exact copy of HIMYM. Mad love is a good plot with it's nice storyline, however it has starking resemblance with HIMYM in certain frames.

Tylar Labine is fantastic as Larry Munsch, again Larry's character somewhat resembles HIMYM's Barney Stinson played brilliantly by NPH. Ever since American Pie series I like Jason Biggs and he is absolutely adorable as Ben Parr, his charcter has shades of HIMYM's Ted Mosby played by Josh Radnor. Judy Greer's portrayal of Connie Grabowski is fresh and thankfully different from any particular lead character from HIMYM. Sarah Chalke, HMIYM's Stella plays Kate Swanson in Mad Love. If I had to pick anyone between Kate and Stella, I would pick Kate not because of Sarah's acting proficiency but because of the characterization.

The story is of four New Yorker's in their thirties, all in search of love. Ben and Kate find love in each and Larry and Connie detest each other from the very first meeting. Larry and Connie unwillingly get  tagged along with their best friends who are a couple now. Slowly, you do see a budding chemistry between the two but it's too early to expect any major happenings between C n L. If you are a HIMYM  fan then I am sure you'll like Mad Love and even if you don't like HIMYM you may just like Mad Love for all the things that are different from HIMYM.  In any case Mad Love is for all sitcom, romcom lovers, eh?

All in all, Mad Love is sweet, funny and romantic(my definition of perfect partner). It is inspired from HIMYM for sure. 22 minutes of pure enjoyment, so a MUST WATCH I would say...

'Fanta'stic Ad!

Nazar phiki, chashma colorful
Duniya dikhe orange wonderful
Naughty naughty bubble
Har bubble mein hai maza double
Double double, double double
Chuski jo le manwa
'Fanta'stic ho jaayeeee....

Fanta's latest ad for the Indian markets is really really appreciable... Can't help myself from posting this one!

so vile :(

Why me? why why why???

It's worst when your mindset suddenly shifts from absolute neutral to the negative extreme.

I have conquered all of my addictions in life except one,eh! I always torture myself with the ongoing yo-yo effect of my addiction. The whole thing had always been unrealistic, way too heavy for my kitty and absolutely hazardous to both my mental and physical well being.

It was a casual chance that I took in life. It was an experiment for the time being, successful results may have made it permanent but it was always meant to be temporary. I somehow always believed that I could always afford it and thats why I made it a part of my lifestyle. Initially I was just trying out stuff, needless to say it was fun and thats why I never realized that I had swapped places with my prey.

Every time I try to get over this addiction I end up hurting myself more. I have never been so helpless and miserable ever in my life. I hate to give my controls away. It's like chasing mirage. The worst part is that I know that it's hazardous, way out of my league and can't be true ever but still I want to reach for the moon on a new moon!!!

The mo' I think of it, the more I curse myself for getting involved. I am paying a huge ransom for an obsolete sadomasochism. I think, I kill my self esteem every time my thoughts involve my addiction. I am better without it and it kinda feels relieved to be a free bird. I will always regret this side of incorrigible me.

 In my head, two songs that are counter striking each other!

Isolation...

Aapla aapan karava vichaar taravaya paar bhava Sindhu!

Feeling very very indifferent at the same time too tempted to break free. Going through a tough time, never thought that things those I longed the most once upon a time will feel so suffocating. I think I am so frigging used to the fast, harsh, troublesome and lonely life that I find it difficult to enjoy/survive the slow, smooth, peaceful and easy life.

I received certain facts and figures with regards to my upcoming future, eh? It wasn't something that I had never anticipated in fact it was exactly the same that I had always imagined and was mentally prepared to deal with. The weaker, the lamer and the dependent types always follow the herd without any struggle for self. i can very well do that but thats not who I am. I derive immense pride and satisfaction from my struggles. It's the healthy stress that keeps adrenalin flowing for me. I love breaking my spine for my project at hand. All I am concerned and worried is for the upcoming formalities of the desired transition.

Things are getting uglier at the full stop. I have been transformed into a very selfish creature by the abstinence process. I am glad to be at this emotional quotient but kinda struggling to keep my temper in control. My wings yearn for flight, I need to be on my own anyhow and as soon as possible. I think I am at my best with strangers,eh! Yeah I don't have to pretend with strangers, I am not required to please them. I can be just my own selfish self and get away with maximum enjoyment without any regrets or resentments.

Right now I think Mellow Motif's version of lemon tree is more apt for me..

There is absolutely nothing on my mind right now... Absolutely no thoughts of  yesterday, today or tomorrow. Isolation!!! I think it's exactly what I chase now. 

Break up ke baad... Finally!!!

First thing first my first video both on f/b and on my blog!

Crazy clown hereafter referred as CC was flaunting his new Samsung dual sim phone in front of me. He was constantly bugging me with 'bayko bayko' a nerve wreaking number. I was so pissed that I was about to leave the room or perhaps the house. He guessed my irritation and switched to the following song. Initially there was chaos both in the background and in my mind. As the song progressed I started falling for it. I loved this song. I think this one will be in my collection forever just like Garva and others.

Ever since I am back from Mumbai this song is constantly on my mind... Unfortunately I am also hung on to bayko bayko... Stupid CC!

aloof...

Last night...

I was welcomed by some strangers, all middle aged males, in a remote small town. After brief introductions I realized that I was in Paa's territory. I was given an apartment to stay closer to him and I was sent to check on things if they were decent enough for me or not. All the men were friendly and were of Paa's league. I could noticeably see Paa's influence and dominance over them. They were cautious and courteous, way more than required. I was getting bothered by the constant help around me.  Soon, I started craving for solitude and wanted to get rid of them but I was kind of stuck!

I was sitting at a restaurant. It was again a new place, an unfamiliar one but the staff seemed to have known me. The place was warm and cozy, since there was no vacant table especially for a single customer the waiter guided me to a preoccupied table. There were two aunties and two children. I was in a mood for 'main aur meri tanhaayee' and hence was apprehensive about joining with strangers but waiter insisted and I had no choice so I joined the table half heartedly. As soon as I sat there, all the background noises were muted down and I started getting the feel of being the only customer in an elegant, fine dining place. It was like being in vacuum inside a glass bottle. I could see everything around but was not affected by the surroundings at all. I started interacting with the waiter and placed an order for chicken stake sizzler with garlic bbq sauce. It was back to normal, amidst of crowd when the waiter brought food for me, suddenly there were noises around. I was baffled and off my equilibrium when the waiter started describing the dish. I don't remember what he said except his suggestion that I should order 'angaare/ anguri kebabs' as a side dish. I politely declined as the dish itself was too much for me and It was too late to order the side dish. This place now looked so much like Pune's 'Vahuman Cafe'.

As I was feasting on my sizzler. I heard a familiar voice in the background. I turned my head and saw that enthupaplet was irritating rockstar. And as usual he was really bugged over something, it was kinda he wanted some peace of mind. I was so tempted to join them or at least let them know that I was also here but I restrained myself. I continued eating, was almost focussed on every single bite. EP spotted me while they were leaving, I simply excused by saying that I didn't realize that they were there. Rockstar said hello to me, he looked preoccupied. He exchanged a weird glance with EP and he left the place. EP also left in hurry behind him asking me to catch up at her place. I wrapped up my meal in a rush and I was outside on the road. I saw EP was walking behind rockstar and I started following the duo. It wasn't Pune roads and I was confused as hell. The scorching sun and the fight between the duo was killing me. EP and rockstar were arguing over something continuously and I was the mute follower. At one point I screamed in panic and they stopped, again they exchanged a vicious look and rockstar stormed out. He caught the first bus that stopped and he was gone. EP sat down on the road and held her face in her hands. I wanted to speak, I wanted to comfort her but I was so dumbstruck that I was staring at her like she was dead!

heat of perfection!

People eat to live but I live to eat!

I am not a perfect person but as far as the word food is concerned I am very particular about the taste and the hygiene. I am a decent cook and I have been cooking since I was 7. My food preference is very ordinary, I prefer simple yet delicious over any exotic and complex dish. I enjoy trying out new cuisines and recipes though.

I have been behaving extremely neurotic over cooking off late. I am kinda going through crave swings for meals. These days I am mostly hyper over the lack of perfection in cooking at home. As I mentioned I prefer simple food, I am also very particular about the taste, balance of flavors and hygiene. Unfortunately my taste buds have outgrown Maa's cooking. I often find lots of shortcomings in her way of dealing with ingredients in the kitchen. I have started backing off from meals just because they aren't the way I expect them to be!

I know, I am a lazy bone. I won't be pampered for long this way. Maa won't be around, I will long to see her. Somehow I don't feel the necessity of this pampering. I know that I am capable taking full controls of my life. My management skills may not be as refined as Maa's but I am some how content with my progress on my daily chores. I somehow sweat less negative emotions when I am in charge. I need Maa in every walk of life, not for her support but for the simple reason that she is Maa and I love her immensely.

As much as i want to hold these passing moments for long lasting effects. I also can't wait to be on my own. I need to make my life.. far far away from my nest, my kingdom. I love my folks and I hope to make them happy by carving a life different from the current one for all of us.

Cheerful...

Feeling unusually cheerful...

The break tuned out quite beneficial. It has got me closer to many of my set my objectives.
Started sleeping on the floor for direct benefits from  room cooler, however my back has started hurting in a very weird way.

Changed desktop background to this!

Tried and then made some simple, yet totally new and delicious recipes :) 

Mishti Doi...

It's past midnight and I am craving for mishti doi so much! My poor sweet tooth...arrggh!!!!!

Forlorn!

"Akele aaye the is duniya mein aur akele hi jayenge!"

We were born alone and we will die alone, is the simple translation of the above Hindi phrase. I have been feeling extremely low since last couple of days, mainly because I have started working towards flying away from my nest. My flight will be long and destination is miles away from my nest. My heart aches even thinking about leaving everything on aged wings. All my life I have been acting as stabilizer in ever withering nest of mine. I never knew, never cared if there was something beyond my nest.

Lately, I have started observing the changes in the world around. I have started listening to the voice within. I am forming my own opinions and deciding whats right and whats wrong for myself and for my nest. This in return has started resulting in conflicts, daily chaos, hourly arguments. Suddenly, I feel that my wings are stronger than the strength of my nest. The nest can't deal with my aspirations and thus my decision of this flight.

Ever since this awakening, this sense of self I have started feeling lonely. I don't know if my life so far will be evident in my future. I don't know if I will have routined, so called "normal" life. I don't know if I will find someone special or not? I don't know if I ever will trust somebody enough that I will build a nest of my own. My future is foggy but my present isn't pleasant too!

I feel tangled in the worry for my nest. I don't know its fate, once I fly away. I am not sure if it can survive a blow of wind? I know one thing for sure that whatever happens I won't be there to hold it together again. I am scared , after all in this whole world  this nest is the only thing thats my own, eh?

My worries are eating me inside out. This is so not me but the whole situation is beyond my control and I am leaving it to fate. I don't want to kill myself for something that I am totally helpless in.  I think the only thing that I can do is to make my life decent enough, that the warmth of my happiness and satisfaction gleams in this part of the world(my nest specially).

Image courtesy : lindabucklin.com & happydance.com.au

Nervous Nineties!

How do I feel right now?

At this very moment I kinda find myself in the shoes of a batsman who's made 90+ runs in the game of cricket and is not sure if he's gonna make it to the ton or not(the ball that he just smashed up in the air is going to be a sixer or he'll be caught at the boundary line)?

Every passing moment is kind of killing me, I am not very result oriented on this but the expectations of others and myself are kinda breathing down my neck. I just want to get over with the weekend. This is going to be my first official step towards my LIFE, eh? Thanks to Bammi, I feel confident that I deserve to be in his part of the world. I just hope that it turns out to be a fair deal. I hope, I will be honest in my efforts and I will make it large(decent) for me and my loved ones.

I have been very choosy and now my whole life kinda depends on this one aspiration of mine. I hate it the most when I don't see other alternative ways, for my own life. I know that life goes on but as of now this is the only way I am going to enjoy life of my own choices and it's consequences. I am too scared to even think of the other not so pleasant result of my aspiration.

What if I don't make it for my maple dream?

If I don't make it, then it's going to be my fault only and I won't have anybody else to blame it on. I like the strong sense of ownership, it makes me more responsible and thus the aspiration even dearer.. Many people give up their lifetime to figure out what they want. I think, I know what I want and I won't wait for things to happen in my favor on their own, In fact I am going to make them happen!

If things don't turn out my way then.... This won't be the first time for me, I am sure I'll do just fine!