"Akele aaye the is duniya mein aur akele hi jayenge!"
We were born alone and we will die alone, is the simple translation of the above Hindi phrase. I have been feeling extremely low since last couple of days, mainly because I have started working towards flying away from my nest. My flight will be long and destination is miles away from my nest. My heart aches even thinking about leaving everything on aged wings. All my life I have been acting as stabilizer in ever withering nest of mine. I never knew, never cared if there was something beyond my nest.
Lately, I have started observing the changes in the world around. I have started listening to the voice within. I am forming my own opinions and deciding whats right and whats wrong for myself and for my nest. This in return has started resulting in conflicts, daily chaos, hourly arguments. Suddenly, I feel that my wings are stronger than the strength of my nest. The nest can't deal with my aspirations and thus my decision of this flight.
Ever since this awakening, this sense of self I have started feeling lonely. I don't know if my life so far will be evident in my future. I don't know if I will have routined, so called "normal" life. I don't know if I will find someone special or not? I don't know if I ever will trust somebody enough that I will build a nest of my own. My future is foggy but my present isn't pleasant too!
I feel tangled in the worry for my nest. I don't know its fate, once I fly away. I am not sure if it can survive a blow of wind? I know one thing for sure that whatever happens I won't be there to hold it together again. I am scared , after all in this whole world this nest is the only thing thats my own, eh?
My worries are eating me inside out. This is so not me but the whole situation is beyond my control and I am leaving it to fate. I don't want to kill myself for something that I am totally helpless in. I think the only thing that I can do is to make my life decent enough, that the warmth of my happiness and satisfaction gleams in this part of the world(my nest specially).
Image courtesy : lindabucklin.com & happydance.com.au
Ever since this awakening, this sense of self I have started feeling lonely. I don't know if my life so far will be evident in my future. I don't know if I will have routined, so called "normal" life. I don't know if I will find someone special or not? I don't know if I ever will trust somebody enough that I will build a nest of my own. My future is foggy but my present isn't pleasant too!
I feel tangled in the worry for my nest. I don't know its fate, once I fly away. I am not sure if it can survive a blow of wind? I know one thing for sure that whatever happens I won't be there to hold it together again. I am scared , after all in this whole world this nest is the only thing thats my own, eh?
My worries are eating me inside out. This is so not me but the whole situation is beyond my control and I am leaving it to fate. I don't want to kill myself for something that I am totally helpless in. I think the only thing that I can do is to make my life decent enough, that the warmth of my happiness and satisfaction gleams in this part of the world(my nest specially).
Image courtesy : lindabucklin.com & happydance.com.au
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