Insomnia hits one more time!

Random Thought:
"Sometimes when too much of anything starts adversely affecting the deal then letting go is the best solution."

Officially on break from school but life's too domesticated that nothing's happening. I have fcuked the routine one more time and have to get back back to normal routine asap. Liking the changes in the atmosphere and the one's within. I hate the nice me who kinda is way too gullible but the croocked me is kinda way too kewl. Good in fact great Chrstmas, million times better than the Diwali. I miss baapoo the most, I really love my old man sometimes more than his once upon a time better half. I just long to spend a weekend with with them which will be very soon and I am really looking forward to it, infact I have started with me shopping already! ;)

Finances have been drastically improved, this one I really owe to me old man and his continious support. I am glad that he's been the nicest father when I list expected him to be. Me extra niceness with the family kinda leaves me thinking but in the end it's all good they all deserved to be treated well. I share this special bond with the three members that I just wish it to last for a while before I officially part my ways. I like being selfish and shrewd with this one, since he's totally worth it especially with that corny accent, unnecessary greed and being the smarty pants wherever we go. I miss thee but I am too scared to express these days 'coz the more I did the more ineffective it felt.  Thy art happy in your own little part of the world and me in mine and the two can't run parallel in harmony at least not at the moment. I wish you wouldn't have been such a disaster to friendship and for a moment I actually thought that we could be great friends and then you went around playing the back stabbing games of yours and thus killed it for me. :(

Thanks for being so informal and sweetly dumb that I felt a step closer to you. I deeply feel for you hope you do the magic trick for me. Nonetheless I empathise with you for what you've gone through and I salute your courage I think you did a neat job of masking your sorrows. Sadly, our eyes were way too curious and we got what we didn't anticipate. We do respect you and your secret will be safe with us. I hate your increasing proximity towards me, especially when you're not so nice with your own folks and always going out of your way for me. I don't want this leading to any misunderstandings which could shake my comfort zone but there's not much I can do about it. I need this special attention that I am getting from you. :)

After a very long time...

I know that it's been a very long time since I have written anything was on a break! This is my first entry from my kinda smart phone from the first world. All's well so far and I hope it stays the same :-)

Today Zimbo kinda got me surprised by taking the gang home for Eid dinner. The wifey's very warm and a great hostess and of course no words for Zimbo. I am glad to have a friend like him around. Pink's kinda an embarrasement at times especially with people around. I am glad for her too, annoyingly sweet biatch she is.

Nikki's kinda the blessing in me life right now especially since booboobear is miles away. The new place is insanely beautiful and I am loving it here as nobody's business. Thank you uparwale for all my bunch of people who are getting closer day by day.

Until the last minute!

I know I've been away for a while and I missed out on putting up many incidents worthy enough to be a part of my memory lane. Still, I'll try my level best to sum it up all in one post. I am in a whole new world, experiences of which are reserved for a different post.

First thing first, bapu started spending 'a lot'of time around. It wasn't pleasant though,'coz I would always feel being enslaved for editing his contacts and wallpapers. We also had a bit of a tiff because of that but it's all okay now. It was bapu's b'day, I had a fall out with maa at Saroj's and I had stormed out without her. It was absolutely her mistake so everything was okay at home when she came back on her own. Bapu did visit late in the evening and we had a decent b'day celebrations for him. Next day we hosted a Satyanarayan Pooja, which went extremely well until the late night tiff with bapu happened. That was kinda the mood spoiler but then Bammi was just a skype call away and a long talk with him helped immensely.

Maa's b'day was different, we had a real blast of our own. We went to Ashoka, the great sizzler fiasco happened but it didn't bother much and in the end all went well. Next, day I went to Yahba's and had some real nice time there with all those people that I am not particularly fond of. I was really touched by their hospitality and it did mean a lot me. My packing was delayed till last moment, 'coz my clothes were not ready.  One of the cons of being a realist, frugal gal.

On the last day, I was down with upset tummy. Bapu came while we were packing my stuff. As usual he did lose his cool on both maa and I. I had some last minute things to settle, like threading. I somehow managed to squeeze in my requirements. Bapu created mini scenes in front of the visitors which was very humiliating and upsetting. As usual bapu kept rushing for early departure. I forgot my medicated shampoo and jacket :( My luggage looked way more than the limit, thus bapu got yet another chance of our public humiliation. Thanks to loafer's driving us to railway station bapu got back to sane mode and was nice to maa  and me.

With the help of porters we managed to get my stuff in our designated seats in the train. Just before the train left we were informed that our tickets were upgraded. Under normal circumstances we would have jumped with joy but looking at the luggage we declined the order. Finally TC intervened and helped us with shifting of luggage and we were happy campers in our new and better seats. We all took this up-gradation as a positive sign from the 'upparwala'. Maa and I were very apprehensive with bapu's decision of getting down at Thane at AhkerusM's place. Afterall, this was the very first interaction of maa's family with bapu, post the breaking of 'HIS' news.

Things went real smooth at AhkerusM's. They all were extremely nice. DidiM n Kaka were real great help with the money. Bammi's bapu was too sweet and nice with the exchange. I wish I could have spent more time with DidiM and ChotiM. Bapu did take me out and went by my will and was also very nice to me. We had so much fun on 'Mundool'. His frugality left both my feet corned but thats all okay since we had some real great father daughter time. When we reached home, almost at the midnight, it was nice catching up with Vrushu an her baby. I did spend some good time with the family.

Next day, was the 'the day'. I was nervous, hyper and craving for some time alone with maa. Unfortunately, I did not get a single moment with her. At lunch, Figo showed up with his parent. As usual it was one of those, his five minutes VIP visits. I really wish, none of the three would have showed up but then it's okay. I  can never forget the the heightened emotions in the living room just before I bid my final good byes to my family. I never expected bapu to cry so loud. I did hug him hard and had cried for some good time. It was the most difficult leaving him, worse than maa. I miss my folks like crazy, thanks to Public mobile they are just a call away...

At first the way to the airport looked pleasant, but then in the end we did get stuck in the traffic jam. Though we were before time on the airport. Though we were expecting some more family members at the airport, but I was too anxious about the whole luggage thing that I rushed for the airport formalities. To our surprise everything that I carried with me was well under the limits and my immigration formalities were also over sooner than expected. Fortunately I managed to shake hands with almost everyone who did make it on the airport but thats about it. I still long for that one last hug that I did not get. I did carry my cell phone so I was able t speak with my folks till my final flight from Delhi.

I had a good flight with Air India. The food was good and I was lucky with all the company that i got. It was just too cold for me and I did miss my black jacket from home. I did miss the warmth of my folks more.
I am hooked on to this song by drake:

Divine Intervention : Lord Venkateshwara!

Ever since I started figuring out stuff on my own, I always wanted to visit Tirupati/Tirumala Devasthanam. DidiM, BalaM and AhkerusM regularly visit but none of them could be of any help to me. About six months ago, during a family vacation in Kerala I wished to visit TTD for my 25th anniversary and the topic was out of my mind by the time we were back home. Ever since Bapu's agreement to the whole 'study-abroad' thing I had conceived the whole 'Thailand' dream for my 25th and was very serious about it too. In the middle of my 'study-abroad' plans there came a time when things got too tough and the whole thing started appearing impossible. In a moment of despair I had booked maa n me to a train for Tirupati for 'the day' but I had to cancel that ticket immediately since there were no options available for the return journey then.

Things got moving and once again I was back on my 'Thai' plans. As per my planning I was expected to get maa's and mine passport 15 days prior to 'the day', the consultant goofed up and thus my 'Thai' plans were screwed. While I was looking out for some local escape routes, BalaM announced his visit with no date of return. I was stuck with no options but to wait patiently for his departure. Finally after a week his departure was finalized, three days before 'the day'. While booking his ticket I just tried my luck with TTD tour for maa, poopoo and me. This time I could book tickets for both ways, wait listed though! I booked us for a 3 days trip to TTD and kinda kept it a surprise for maa since I wanted to avoid the whole 'our kinda' discussion. I had kept a day's breathing space for us post BalaM's departure before our tour.

BalaM's departure was delayed because his ticket was wait listed till the last moment and thus his departure plans got hazy. We couldn't leave till he was around and thus I had to break my silence on the whole 'surprise' thing. Thankfully there weren't many discussions around the whole deal and BalaM left the next evening, leaving no time to catch our breath. Our tickets were still wait listed and none of us wished to travel without reservation. When I came back after dropping him to the station, maa raised the whole itinerary thing and what if things aren't favorable doubts of hers. I had no certain answers to any of her queries but one, ''have left it to Lord Venkateshwara, if he has called for us then he shall take care of our trip. Let us take our reservation status as his signal, if they don't get confirmed then he doesn't wish to see us and our etickets will get canceled automatically!" Next minute I logged on to check our PNR status and to our surprise our tickets were confirmed.

Our train was scheduled for 3:30 pm and thus after our BAU(Bickering As Usual) we left home at 2:30 pm. I don't remember a single incident of train delays in my life so far so none of us bothered to inquire with IR before leaving from home. As soon as we reached the station, we learnt that the train was delayed by two hours. There was no point going home and coming back since it would have taken us one hour to commute in total and about 200/-. I had not slept on the previous night so I decided to take a nap on one of the benches on the platform.

I woke up in like 5 hours only to see tired and long faces of maa and poopoo. Poor guys had survived for 5 hours on that platform, while I rested. So, apparently the train was delayed by 6 hours and my comrades were almost about to give up. I suggested a quick dinner at Comesum, we had packed lotsa stuff from home and we bought malai Kulfi from the vendor out of courtesy. The jolly dinner boosted zeal in maa and poopoo, they were good to continue waiting at least for next couple of hours. By the time we finished our meal and dessert, we heard arrival announcement for our train. After a lot of confusion and crazy running around we managed to board our train.

The compartment was full of men it did not appear worrisome and honestly we did not face any struggles during our 18 hours of journey. Poopoo and I had literally invaded the window seats. We reached Tirupati  station at about 4 pm, whereas we were supposed to reach at 10 am. As soon as we got down, I started inquiring at random places for 'hows' and 'whats' of the destination. Post my terrible bargaining shots we reached TTD Srinivasam by 4.30. After sitting in a non moving que for little over 45 minutes I started panicking out since I was responsible for two other lives who kinda were helpless due to their lack of knowledge of English. I somehow 'pattaoed' the guard and bargained his commission charges from 500/- to 100/-. As soon as I was about to pay him money for special arrangements for one AC room, the que started moving and I got lucky with one nice AC room without any commission.  :p

After some rest and bathing we were ready to head out, since it was 'the day' maa insisted on a fancy place for dinner. In stead I took them to the roadside 'dosa on thelas' place and ordered for three masala dosas. By the time I got couple of water bottles (less than 5 minutes) maa and poopoo were holding their respective dosas. I signaled them to eat, to both their surprises, it was indeed one of the best dosas both of them had eaten. I kinda louved the twinkle in poopoo's eyes. After finishing our firsts Poopoo and I shared another dosa. Maa and I sipped some steaming sips of some amazing tea. Finally around 7.30 pm we boarded a bus to Tirumala since we were very keen on making 'the day' some extra very 'special'. The bus was kinda funny, since apart from three of us there was only an elderly couple in the whole bus, it had a lady conductor and the driver would stop at various eateries and the conductor would pick up food and together they would eat in the bus.

I was nauseated on my way up since it was a ghat road and my dosa was also rising up, the last thing I wanted to do was to throw up, so I kept my eyes closed throughout the journey. When we reached up many people including the security guards started misguiding us, most but a few insisted on purchase of special 300/- special darshan tickets. There were few true and godsend folks who guided us to a que for free darshanam. After walking for a little over an hour from the bus station we reached a hallway. Devotees had laid down groundsheets and were getting comfortable to sleep/rest. Initially it was a bizarre position, nobody understood us and we had no plans of spending the night in a communal hallway when we had paid a grand for our room in Tirupati. Maa was kinda losing her patience so she engaged poopoo to run some errands and bought some munchings from a vendor. It was the vendor, who explained me the whole thing, apparently it was going to take us a little over 2 hours of waiting in that hallway and then an hours time in the que for the darshanam, on our way to dashanam we could buy prasadam laddoos by paying 20/- for 2 laddoos per head. Much relieved with the information all three of us dozed off within minutes.

At around 11.15 pm on 'the day' I woke up to a divine Conch sound and woke maa and poopoo too. Since we were amongst some of the early risers we could skip and run a huge distance and finally at around 11.59 pm I was in front of Lord Venkateshwara's idol for little over 90 seconds. I literally concluded 'the day' in front of the deity and I couldn't think of a better way of making it one of the most memorable expeiences of my lifetime. The journey that followed this whole experience  was equally miraculous/coincidental and interesting. We met a godsend angel who took us for the all temple darshanam tour organised by the devasthanam, followed by the ISKON temple darshanam and miraculous confimation of the return journey tickets.

I feel special, at times elite, smarter than many others but this time I felt blessed. The whole tour thickned my belief of existence of a stronger governing force. This definitely doesn't make me quit my chores and sit in front of an idol for hours or give up on every other ting that I enjoy and is considered as 'ill or evil' by my religion.
My take out, ''Be true to thine own self!''

P.S. Yes it did rain on 'the day'! :)

25!

Turned 25 a week ago!

It was the first ever b'day without cake.
For the first time there were no so called "celebrations".
The whole 'Tirupati darshan' phenomenon made it very simple, spiritual and divine.
I was responsible for AtoZ of the total 3 days time off for the three of us and I think I did a commendable job at managing stuff, small incidences of losing my cool could have been avoided though.
I did not wish Oge and honestly did not even think of him, "jo hota hain, acche ke liye hi hota hai!"
Bammi was the first one to wish and Bapu was the last(I missed many of his calls, so completely my fault).
I have reduced my circle of influence to the minimum possible radius.
Its more of 'SELF' now and less of 'OTHERS'.
Maa still is the center of my life and I never will try to outgrow that.
Bapu seems to come closer and I have no feelings about it.
I am looking forward to next 12 months, studies and lotsa fun time out and away.
I hope my time in ON will be 'thik-thak' without Bammi, I know I am gonna miss him like crazy but thats kinda need of time.
I must fair well in following areas before my next b'day:
Weight loss
Studies
Driving
Swimming
Foreign language (French)

lost in search of a fcuking apt _________!

Lost in search of a fcuking apt TITLE. So many things on me mind, not sure which is more important and which is less. Here I go...
BalaM is finally gone from our's. His departure was dramatic three train tickets and many bike rides later finally he's off. He's one heck of a guy, it will be interesting if I could ever study the functioning of his brain as a psych student.
Train tickets have been booked for Bapu and us separately also the whole farewell thing has been sorted out at least I hope so.
Ate loadsa non veg in these couple of days, enjoyed cooking lamb ribs and mutton mince(kheema).
Window shopped in a computer store and found out some really interesting stuff to be procured before I leave. Also, bought a decent iball webcam.
Photocopied most of my stuff and kept the necessary documents with maa.
Balanced out one year's track record and quite satisfied with my work.
I am worried for my basic shopping, since bapu's pooling money for my expenses out there. He has put a no spending clause on the whole deal and that's very uncomfortable.
Its ABC's anniversary today and I am happy with my personalized gift :)

check list(ed)!

Have booked my flight ticket for 2nd Aug.
Have booked maa's and mine rail ticket, haven't spoken to bapu yet but if he insists then will book him for some other train.
Spending my 25th b'day at Tirupti, nothing can be more special than getting blessings from the almighty.

BalaM will be leaving morrow night and thus I'll be celebrating with wine :P.. not his departure but the formal approval on my plans of a new begining.
I have literally fried BalaM's brains with BhejaFry 1 n BhejaFry 2. I am glad that he liked it, poor thing had not seen a movie since 2003.
It's kinda weird that I am never hungry and sleepy these days, unlike during the wait.
Planning to install a web cam for my desktop and will give it to maa, my laptop to bapu and maa's desktop to poopoo.
Cleaning my computers, hard drives since they won't be mine soon.
Right now mind is at a very peaceful disposition. Things are moving but at a very soothing pace.
Happy :)

Simple and real ''Taryanche Bet''...

Watched a Marathi movie after months. Was it worth the wait?
Yes absolutely, it was worth all the wait. ''Taryanche bet'' is a simple and real story. It is a very very well made movie. It is Balaji's first venture in Marathi cinema business and must say it was an excellent choice of story to start off. Sachin Khedekar is brilliant in his role as always child artist Ishan Tambe is the real surprise package. I remember watching him on Zee Marathi's daily soap ''Shubhamkaroti''. Rest of the other supporting cast is equally good. Kiran Yadnyopavi's direction is worth mentioning and so is Saurabh Bhave's story. The best thing about this movie is that it is very real and thus all of us can relate to some or the other incident. The music should have been better, especially to attract larger group of audiences. There are no miracles, no mishaps and no larger than life circumstances. There are lots of light moments and some moments emotional enough to make you think if not cry.

All in all ''Taryanche bet'' is a must watch for all those who cherish Marathi cinema. It sure will take you to the memory lane and will leave you with nostalgia. 

Stamped!

Finally!!!

The wait is over and thankfully on a very positive note.
My passport has been stamped by the embassy and it has been received by the consultant, I am yet to see it with my eyes though.
I am getting, all that i always dreamed of and thankfully maa and bapu are with me on this whole thing.
I couldn't celebrate since BalaM is at home and OnH's death.
The wine bottle is still waiting for me to open it, I think I'll just do it anyways.
I am kinda nervous 'coz I'll have either one of my parents sending me off at Mumbai airport.
The feeling is yet to sink in me since I am not ''overjoyed'' about my planning.
Bammi's the only person who has been constantly reinforcing the magnitude of the day's development.
Finally, Bapu's agreed for 12K additional also for my preponing the whole movement by a month's time.
Had taken BalaM for a long ride and then for a lime soda but my heart wasn't into it.
OnH's death had resurfaced and had created an issue in the family.
Did cook chicken biryani and it turned out really well.
Did miss out on ctching Cars 2 first day, first show but will watch it some other time.
Finally I am glad that God has been kind enough to set me free, just the way I wanted to!

This old song fits apt to my current state of mind... Happy :)

Siblings...

Maa n BalaM :D

They love each other but they hardly realise it. They never express their feelings that doesn't mean that there are none. I am new to this phenomenon about siblings since I don't have any but I am learning. BalaM is here with us and I have observed so many nice changes in Maa. Just to set the records straight, maa n her siblings are not the loud expressive types but more of love to keep it low types. All are very practical and materialistic when it comes to transactions. It's fun to be around BalaM when he's free and it's kinda emotional to be around DidiM, I enjoy both the feelings and otherwise. So, Maa's all geared to be an excellent hostess, which she always is but this time it's little more than normal. I like the way Maa has told me all li'l li'l things about their childhood. I think from my generation, I am the most learned about the last generation of my maternal history. I know almost all random stories of Maa and her siblings. Anyways, even though Maa pretends not being bothered, she still cares and thus today's food was awesome!

Morning was full of M's business expansions, profits, settings and the 'dream-home' that I have been hearing for forever now. Finally, I managed to corner myself aside and caught on some sleep. I woke up in the evening to find out that internet was down. I just anted to check on the status of my application thus I tweaked both hardware and software of our broadband connection. Internet resumed by fluke and I am getting a download speed of 500 kb/ps. Anyways, its a part of daily routine now to check on the application status. It was the fourth day since 20th and I wasn't expecting any miracles since I was anticipating the official SLA of 10 working days . No buzz here but the passport has been dispatched, I haven't received any call though! Anything can happen but I am hoping that I get through. I am glad that things have got over sooner than expected and my fingers are crossed for a positive news.

Deck(ed)!

BalaM is visiting, he arrived this morning with poopoo. I had promised him that I would receive them at the station so I had kept me awake the whole night and was right on time, very unlike me, eh? We had a miscommunication last night, I had hinted him to get down at Ajni rather than the main station. Since this was his first time to get down at Ajni, I wanted to confirm if he was game? I started buzzing him from 5am but bledy his phone was switched off. Finally I left home at 5.30, maa called while I was just about to start my bike that he is getting down at Ajni!

Internet was down for past two days. Didn’t miss much except when I had to check the whereabouts of my visa application. Bammi wasn’t reachable and Ashu couldn’t help, in desperation blew all my talktime balance on gprs, only to find out the f**k up done by the consultant. No internet and no mood for any torrent based entertainment drove me to pick up ‘Freakonomics’, half done but taking it slow now since I am back to broadband. Maa and I played kitty and rummy after ages. It was so much fun to see her wild competitiveness. That woman can’t accept defeat it was fun to watch her win her defeats were even more fun and dramatic.  I often cheated on purpose just to make her mad. I am too fed up of fighting over food so daily I am cooking religiously. My garlic tomato trick is a success, it tastes so well that maa has literally pushed her lunch from 12pm to 4pm. Tried my hands on the chariot special chocolate smoothie and succeeded too. Printed some of the good clicks and now presenting a framed version to whomsoever it belongs to. The joy of giving, nothing can beat that and by the way I hate receiving!

My bank loan papers were finally ready on 1^st June after so much of running around the whole of May. Even after submitting every damn paper related to me on the face of Earth. My visa application has been submitted on 20^th June. The Consultant was simply sitting on it, until I inquired. On my inquiry the excuse given for the delay was so silly that any poor dog would have sniffed suspicion. This whole thing has killed my Thailand plans. My 31^st July departure has been postponed to 3^rd August now, since the airfare has shot up like crazy. Bledy morons!!!  They don’t even realize that they are dealing people’s careers and hard earned money. 

(un)necessary (over)conversation!

Initiated new communications and I am not feeling right about that. I hate to get dragged in other’s affairs yet I have fallen prey to my curiosity one more time.  I hate this whole need of validations over rubbish issues.  I hate the triumph of correct assessment and hate the attention drawn by the whole bragging. In the end like I always say one can fool others but can’t fool self.

The only satisfactory outcome from the whole conversation was when Udnav T commended maa’s efforts of raising a decent human being. I feel blessed with my ability of gauging people and striking an engaging conversation. I only wish that I could use my ability to bring out best in people rather than being the vent machine or confession box.

Each moment somebody or the other is washing their dirty linen in public. I don’t wish to be the witness and if I have to see it I hope that I don’t contribute in any way. I think I am at a blissful disposition with the whole self dependency mindset.  I made a mistake and I shall never repeat the same. Another thing that’s bugging me is for ditching a friend’s mother. In my defense I am not in the correct mindset. I am also not comfortable with the whole out of proportion affection. This whole deal with excessive emotions compels me to judge people and relations and honestly this one failed as per my assessment. Though as per the law of quid pro quo I have given more than received. I am not very proud to buy happiness but what the hell, I am a realist and I give what’s required. I don’t put my emotions on gamble. I admit that this is selfish but this is the only and the ultimate way to survive that I have learned. I am out there, my resources and my help are accessible but that’s the end of it. I totally believe in cherishing the moment while it lasts, I never think about the molasses while enjoying the cane juice!

finally undeclared!

Undeclared!

 Done watching Undeclared! It was fun to see Jay Baruchel, Seth Rogen and Amy Poehler like a generation younger. It was kinda an extended 'American Pie' movie but the lesser dirty n funnier version. It felt more realistic than the AP flicks. Charlie Hunnam was a hottie and rest of the others were cuties. On an on it’s definitely a good contender for my favorite sitcoms list, not the addictive types though!

Spoke to Eww yesterday, she seemed disturbed hope things do move real quickly for her. I wasn’t comfortable probing into her issues ‘coz I am scared to use my ‘ITYS-meter’( I Told You So).   Well, lets just say that the girl is not in for any bad surprises in the future and may God bless her.

Cuz had called for some career advise and since I had no idea on what so ever about NAVY I had called EP.  It’s always nice to speak to her. I miss her a lot. I have spent some of my best times with her.  Today, I am much better than yesterday, OnH isn’t haunting anymore. It rained this evening, I guess that was OL’s and PB's intimation that they had found him in the clouds!

Adorable infidelity?

I could have never imagined putting the two words next to each other ever, not even in my wildest dream. Yes, I am doing the unthinkable and this is the effect of the movie, ‘My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend’. 

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Oya’s recommendation, frankly I wasn’t very sure. This was the third attempt to watch it and I wasn’t quite sure if I’ll watch it over ten minutes, just like my previous two attempts.  I had no expectations at all since Family guy, TLOTR-trilogy, Schindler’s list had failed to keep me engaged.  OnH’s demise had no immediate effects but slowly the whole thing started messing with my head. I was consciously making efforts to keep my mind off it but the damage was already done in my subconscious.

I sense pain in my words and I don’t want to be sorry so getting back to ‘My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend’ which kinda saved the day for me. It pulled me out of the depression that I slowly was sinking in. The movie doesn’t pick up for the first 15 minutes. It ain’t funny but it’s adorable. Love the way Alyssa Milano makes her infidelity justified so convincingly that one actually feels her shoes. Christopher Gorham is cute and so is Tom Lenk.  Michael Landes is the ideal man, every girl’s dream. It surely will break any girl’s heart while breaking off with any one of them!

End of a generation!

Old n haggard is dead!
He's gone for sure this time. It happened this afternoon at 14:30hrs.
May his soul rest in peace!
Unfortunately the13th day falls on June 30th, I guess that puts this incident in memory-lane forever!

P.S. I wish he could have grabbed a better place in my memory lane. This concludes a whole generation!

Gizmo savior in Neverland!

This afternoon -

'' Bammi n I were in my pune house, we were talking about some plan of ours. I think it was about the small trip that we were planning to take. After awhile we were at some exotic never-land. Bammi got a call from an old friend of his. The friend's big-shot uncle was also in the same place as we and he wished to see Bammi in his free time for company. Next moment Bammi n I were shaking hands for first formal giant leap towards our PR!''

'' BalaM was visiting, as usual were engaged in our howlarious banter in our living room. Next moment, there was some sound of grunting, I was shocked to see Dudley amongst us.  The jolly atmosphere turned tensed since B n D don't get along at all. B tried to engage D in an awkwardly formal conversation, D was replying with more humiliation and awkwardness. D indicated Loui and me to meet outside and he stormed out. Soon we were on streets of Vajreshwari walking towards the temple. D n I were engrossed in our banter and L was the mute follower. D seemed in an exceptionally good mood and as we were crossing the house of B's new girl, D told me about her greeting him in the morning. In my own haste I blurted out B's recent connection with her and D flashed a triumphant grin to us. Loui lost her temper on me for sharing B's secret and I snapped back at her. Loui turned her back on us and soon she disappeared in thin air. Next moment D n I were climbing steps of some unknown temple. As we were done praying, we saw Loui approaching us. She was very apologetic and we patched things up instantaneously. . .

. . . D and I were in a multiplex and we were buying tickets for some 007 movie. I confronted D for never spending time with me but then I also expressed my joy to be with him. Our buzz was killed by a spy who had  informed MadW about D's spending time with Loui n me. All three of us got scared as hell for MadW's guts and the drama that she pulls off every single time. D was bidding a tearful good bye to me before laving us in the middle of our plans and Mad W spotted us together. She bombarded D with hell lot of questions. Next moment all of us inclusive of the spy and MadW were sitting on the red couches in the waiting lounge of the screen  and we had our faces buried in our mobile screens. D was trying to pull some fake excuse out of his ass. MadW was unusually quiet and lost in the over sophisticated phone of hers. I was trying to create some fake evidences to support D's excuse on my super sophisticated phone and by mistake I clicked MadW's picture. In stead of deleting it, I happened to send it to her via Bluetooth! I not only sent her picture but accidentally sent her many pictures of her favorite stuff. She got up, D, L and I had our lives in our throats. We were anticipating her to create a big scene. We were taken off guard when she left the place in happy mode without any nautanki since she had finally managed to set her own photograph for her phone's wallpaper... Dumb Biatch!!!''

Bubble(y) girl!

Ditto mine :)

Highlight of the day: Got me first electronic bubble shooter with dhin-chak lights ;)

Community season 1 down.
Woke up to learn about consultant's yet another goof up.
Thankfully maa could understand the need of the hour and made my way clear without any mach-mach.
Ate tummy full of dal wadas and had coffee after months.
Rushed to the consultant, RE-submitted documents 'nth' time.
Buddhi's flying in about 12 hrs for states, crazy female asked for a rare poster on the last moment. Checked the market in and out, but no luck. Incorrigible me, searched on the internet, edited in photoshop and have given it for print due in next 10 hours.
Went to the toy shop, did loadsa window shopping and bought some stuff, not to forget the much awaited bubble gun.
Goofed around with Louie and chatted with Bammi.
Spoke to DidiM and BalaM, he's visiting us next week.
My b'day plans are almost fucked up but I need to figure out some way to get away from home. It's nothing like I am over enthusiastic about b'days but I surely want to avoid the usual childish celebrations, gifts and formalities with people who don't matter at all.
I know things aren't exactly going my way and they never will but what the hell I can't burn my blood in the wait.
So now on the wait doesn't rule but instead I am going to focus on me last few days of being at home. The new plans have a lot to offer, especially many mo' struggles so this ain't the end but the beginning!

TV series for memory lane!

TV series that i have watched so far like a haavrat!
Friends
How i met your mother
Glee
Sex and the city
Cougar Town
30 Rock

Modern Family
Mr. Sunshine
Mad Love
Happy Endings
Raising Hope
Heroes
The big bang theory
Accidentally on purpose
Parks an recreation
Arrested development
Community
......
PS: this list is in the order of my viewing and not by entertainment quotient!

colo(u)red!

the wait... finally I have started chocking, gasping for oxygen and sinking with ripples!

It's the second week of the wait and I don't even have the f***ing application receipt number, thus I can't track the status.

Despite the firm belief that I am a totally deserving candidate, the evil in me anticipates some minor screw up and thus a major f**k up.

Monsoon has brought some pleasantries but thats just not enough.

Dudley has finally managed to grab a hold on his new territory, I really appreciate his fighting spirits.

Loui is as usual pi**ed about something or the other.

Thankfully airfare for my desired date is still the same.

Thai plans seem awfully difficult, the other passport is stuck beyond clearance.

Over the weekend, colored my finger n toe nails after ages.

Finished three seasons of  ''Parks n Rec'' and ''Arrested Development'' each.

All I need is Leslie Knope's dedication and positivism and Michael Bluth's patience.

Started watching ''Community''.

Tried my hands on website development and I sucked at it.

I am putting a straight face without hints of my sorrows, disapproval and pain to almost everything in life. 

I miss the one hand that I could hold and every damn thing will turn fine but what the hell, it's just a mirage chased by millions.

The disrespect (ignorance actually) to Dudley and Oge's crazy behavior kinda haunts me but seriously that was way too annoying and intimidating in my personal space, so no guilt there.

Uttib visited and this time I kinda put my worries ahead of everything again no guilt.

It feels different, weird, scary and disturbing to be emotionally detached from everything and everybody but self.

I really miss somebody to hang out with, watch movies with, go places with and eat out with in short Bammi,  I wish he would have had the sweet tooth too!

I hate the fact that I am awaiting for one tiny signal to collect myself up and start all over again.

The wait... to break free!

Whined away!

WTF!!!

So called 'Indian Picasso' is dead at 96(RIP).
Yog guru has lost over 7 Kgs in 6 days in all the nautanki (as if it was really required).
The international fellow turned out to be a lousy, jackass.
Chicken masala sucked.
I think the butcher conned me 'coz I had bought one full chicken and one drumstick is missing from the meat. Until it was a one legged chicken?
Heroes got over, TBBT got over and I am stuck with bunch of dull stuff.
Today's market visit was a flop show in Nagpur heat.
Old n haggard is all set to rock the peace with his menace.
Dudley got kicked from the old and the new ain't accepting him. He's one grumpy fellow.
Loui is all charged up but for all the ''wrong'' things.
Two passports holding back the international flight.
One stamp is going to decide me future in a 'BIG' way.
Weird and deadly nightmares are haunting and are scary as hell, yet I don't remember exactly what happened in them.
It's cloudy, yet it ain't raining here.
I long for spirits, to lose myself.
I am eating away my worries and it kinda sucks the most!
Everything kinda sucks, but have made my peace with LIFE and I know that we are cool!

:-) ? :-( ? Emoticon crisis!

Uttib had called on the first day and informed that she'll visit in the evening. She sounded horribly drunk but that couldn't possibly be true since she's a teetotaler. I kind sensed that something's was wrong but then she denied and I agreed to her denial!

Meanwhile, my ship of hope was sinking daily. My loan sanction letter was getting stuck at every possible level and thus delaying me application and that was kinda killing me. I was growing awfully indifferent and had lost myself in back to back episodes of Heroes. I was in no mood to speak or listen. Even Bammi noticed the change in me. These day chatting with him has become a part of the routine, if I don't talk to him the day does seem incomplete. This time I wasn't in the car(destiny) forget about being at the drivers seat. I hate process delays and there wasn't anything that I could do about it. In fact I was scared that my meddling will worsen the results. I was also horribly followed up by Bapu for the status which was kinda annoying under such circumstances. 

I am happy that finally my ship has left the shore, I am not sure what it's gonna be, eh? I am positive though! Things were dramatic but ultimately all's well that ends well. Finally bapu's got what he was waiting for almost over an year now. Thankfully his efforts and his resources have paid back. Honestly, maa had lost all her hopes and  bapu's were kinda sinking too! 

I am sad for Uttib, yet again she chose the wrong man and has been left heartbroken. She's been betrayed by not only one man but by series of folks from her inner circle of trust. I was glad to be there for her, I was surprised that in my punctured mindset I could be of some help to her. It was also surprising revelation that how much I mean to her. How easily she could open up to me. She almost had tears when she admitted my judgement of people and situations. She said that she would listen to me but she won't and I know that. She is yet to outgrow her infatuation with the rowdys and ghatys and thus this time I said nothing more than some comforting words. I know, I should not have give up hope on her but I did, long time back. She's already crossed my i-told-you-so meter's limits! Bapu's been hanging in the middle of nowhere and thats very alarming. I only wish and hope that things do get better in his life soon. I seek his support for some more time and then I'll be ready to support him for the lifetime(hope so at least) (provided if he needs).

The consultancy took me sign on the consent form, I kinda disliked that especially since I will be violating many of the clauses. If all goes well then I'll surely payback after all they kinda helped. I am not in best of mindsets but I am hanging onto an invisible thread of positivity and hope. I am doing just fine.

I love  MJ's you are not alone in such situations. Does everything has to decode to love and relationship? There are things beyond all that!

Bet(te)rayal...

Have you ever thought and re-thought over some simple action of yours, and didn't know exactly how you should feel about it?

Today, Sil sent me a friends request on a social networking site and I accepted it immediately. I was so glad to connect with her after so many years, after all she's always been my favorite. Even after all the events of the past, I always had a soft corner for her. She's never done anything wrong to me. In fact, Loui Loui and I were amongst the only few that she liked and treated well from Figo's side.

I still remember my first meeting with Sil in Gangsta's wedding. Figo had introduced us and we clicked immediately. We kicked off so well that I was by her side the whole time. In fact in her support I had taken cold beef with many of me folks, some still exists. I never cared then and I don't care now either. Sil had actually got me closer to Figo, who emotionally never existed in me life before.  I always thought Sil was too good for Figo. Many a times I really felt ashamed for thinking so low of Figo, but any sane person would have said/thought the same about the duo. Sil was kinda Figo's jackpot, which Figo didn't deserve at all!

In my journey so far, I have found very few people of substance. Sil is definitely one of them. She's nobody to me in this crazy world but she definitely means much more than the hollow Figo. Figo's and mine is same origin but that doesn't make him any special to me. Except the fact that we are in constant touch, practically there in each other's joys and sorrows. I don't approve of him mainly 'coz he almost ruined his and Sil's life. I had always seen many similarities between Sil and I. This is one of the many reasons why I think so highly of her. I am so glad to be in touch with her after so many years. I know Figo and many others are just gonna hate me for this which is why I am feeling the pinch. These are one of those rare moments where I keep self before everything/body else. I don't see this as betrayal to Figo but bet(te)rayal to Sil and most importantly to my self!

Image courtesy: wyliefuscos.blogspot.com

gratitude rock!

Inspired from The Secret...

I am thankful for following things that have happened to me life:

being born as me, with everything that is only mine
for the wonderful, loving and caring  parents
for all the courage and strength to overcome difficulties
for all the joyous moments and memories
for all the ambitions, dreams and successes
for all the friends an their support especially Bammi, Paplet, Clown and Loui-loui
for all the guidance and the ability to chose whats ''right'' for me
for all the well wishers and nice people in the surrounding
for being in sound health of body and mind
for being able to love myself and be a great company to myself

I Love my life and a big heartfelt  thank you for it :)

Setting sun!

"For he once was a son, a brother and an educated man. He married an aristocratic beauty, thus became the husband, the provider. He fathered four children, three boys and a girl. Fate took away the girl when she was 9, shock and grief left him a lunatic wife. He was a miser, a failure in business and a stone hearted noble man. He discouraged his sons about education, refrained them from meager luxuries of life. Only one of his boys was determined enough to be somebody in the world. Against all his wishes the son got him the ordinary, out of their league daughter in law. Unhappy yet accommodating he managed just fine with her. In his greed, he compelled his heir to give up and thus lost his second son. Birth of his grandchild, the baby girl was may be the happiest day of his and wife's life. He always saw his dead girl in the latest addition of his family. With evaporating time, his wife lost faith in life thus leaving him alone with his youngest boy, a grown up man by now. Lack of love and family made his son the black sheep. Lost the third son to what must not be named. The son that he kicked out of his life once was the only one left for him. The son and his families tried their best to accommodate him in their lives. Incorrigible as he always was tore himself apart from a life of comfort and royalty. Back to the life of misery and poverty he recalled the son. Son couldn't ignore his father's melancholy and took him back but with a half heart and a haunted mind. Son had given up all his feelings for the murderer of his childhood, his siblings and ultimately his mother. At 83, instead of leading a peaceful life in his territory our man gets involved in brawls with everybody around. Run awayed the nth time, no one waits for him now. Nothing to eat, no place to call home. He brings his misery on road. It's the duty, reputation and social influence of this son for whom he had never been more than a limitation in life that finally earns him a bed in the old age home!''


In the loving memory of Kokaliya's dadu...

like a band-aid!

F**k!!!

Once again the manipulative bitch has sneaked in my life. No matter how much I try to keep my arse out of this crap, I somehow manage to drag myself into it. Last time, it was her wedding invite this time it was friends request on a social networking site. I was pi**ed instantaneously. I sat patiently wondering what to do? I could either accept or decline her request, so simple, isn't it? It actually ain't so simple for me hence few futile minutes later I simply left my computer. My last four yeas started flashing in front of my eyes. 

Finally, I decided to decline the request. I accepted the request instead! I was not happy with what I had done. So, I removed her from my friend list and closed the chapter. Until, I received one more request from her. This time I simply ignored it. Took my own sweet time to respond. I thought and re thought over that mellow dramatic saga. While retrospecting, I subtly realized that she who mattered once doesn't mean a thing now. However she did mean something at some point of time. For every good, bad and ugly treatment of hers she deserves to be in the friends list. 

This whole manipulative bitch chapter of my life is a lot happening yet very depressing piece of me. I was sick and tired of hiding it in my closet. So, here I am embracing it with arms wide open and with a smile (naah, not filmy style). There were people, there were issues and I was involved. I am out of it and now it's just another part of my past. I think I have passed the haterade phase of my life over this issue. It was a year old wound hidden beneath the band-aid. I am glad that I could finally rip off the band-aid to realise that my wound has healed perfectly without leaving any scar behind!

P.S. realized that life is ephemeral and fragile to deal with grudges, hence ignorance. We can never be best of buddies but I find no harm in being cordial.

On a very serious note, 

haso, muskurao, kya pata kal ho naa ho?

Me World!

I Baked for Mother's day!

My life began in her and it still revolves around her. Mum is the world for me and I know she will always be the main reason for me to feel alive. All my dreams, aspirations of life are more for my mum than for me. If you think that my mum is out of the world, she personifies sacrifice, love and care then you are totally wrong!

Me mum is just an ordinary woman, with her own set of strengths and limitations. In fact, me and mum are like Tom n Jerry, always delighted to fight. I always had a very different relationship with mum, different at every phase of my life. I love to live in my present rather than in past or in future, so this current phase is my most favorite one where she is everything to me!

These days, she has her secret insane joy reserved for my these lines, ''you know maa, there are only two people who love and care the most about you, one was your mother and the other one is you daughter. Unfortunately, these are the only two who get to see the crazy and stubborn you, unlike the rest of the world. These are the only two people who are insanely considerate about you and may be these are the only to people who have to face the brunt of your tantrums!'' always followed by a good laugh from both of us.

As time goes by, I am growing more and more concerned about my mom. I only hope that she manages well in times without me, until we are together again. I feel that we have kinda swapped our places where I have become the worried soul and she's become the incorrigible one ;)

Needless to say, Love you mama, love you so very much!
Happy mother's day...

Couldn't think of a better song than this!

chocos ME cereal killer!

It's very very difficult for me to say that something has been a steady part of me routine... I got to really get addicted to something to include it in me daily routine, momentary though!

I strongly believe that change is essential and most importantly inevitable. Everything goes, nothing stays. Neither the good times of life nor the bad ones! Change is what makes it different from the usual. Those who flow with change actually do master it and rise and shine on it's surface. Unlike those who show rigidity towards it and sink at it's bottom in the wake of their protest!

All said and done about the inevitable change. This brings to the change in my breakfast from parantha to Chocos - the chocolate flavored cereals with cold milk. Currently, I am lovin' it!!!

CooL Drinks and ME

"Cool Drinks!!"... Lol... ever since i have heard this term from an ex colleague, I have always found it worth a laugh!

My first ever cold drink that I recollect was Mango fruity. As I grew up orange soda replaced mango drinks. Fanta being the most preferred brand over it's competitors.

There was this phase too when lemon based drinks like 7up, sprite, mountain dew were adding on calories to me life!

At the moment I am hooked to all the colas and Pepsi is my current favorite!

All the best Bammi!

Bammi has worked  real hard for last eight months. He has given up a lot to gain some, in fact most of the good old life for the new horizons. He has been extremely focussed and honest towards his studies. In some hours from now it will be his final face off with his last and deadliest enemies. I know he's prepared and he's nervous too! After all, it's all about maintaining his consistency of the high grades!

Don't worry Bammi, you will be rocking in each and every exam that you will write. You are constantly in my prayers. You have already proved your mettle by bagging the internship. I am sure you'll shine in all endeavors.
I feel extremely fortunate to have you in my life as my best friend and my mentor. I am sure you'll go places and thus me too :)

Images courtesy:
credendacreators.blogspot.com
same2u.com

Origami, latest passion!

Thank you so much Bammi for reintroducing Origami to my life!

It all started with Bammi's presentation on demonstration a TnD method. Ever since that day I am regularly folding papers into some artwork daily.. It's kind of became a part me before bedtime rituals along with shower and brushing teeth..eeeeee!

All done by me, me and me :)

missing the momentum...

It's like the winning streak, one has to put in efforts to keep it on. Same principle can easily be applied to me and writing. So many days have passed, so many moments have been lost without getting into the memory lane.
I have got so much on me mind that I don't know from where to start?

Past week was all about desi music, the soft, romantic melodies. Following two are me latest favorites :)
Coincidentally both movies have Tushar Kapoor in the lead role but I likes it bery bery much, eh!

IELTS : My experience!

First thing first, I took IELTS - academic module in first week of March this year. I scored 7.5 in listening, 7.0 in reading, 7.0 in writing and 7.5 in speaking with an overall banding of 7.5.
My major realization in this whole process of IELTS application, preparation, examination and then the result is that you can't drastically jump bands(exceptions may exist)! IELTS is basically an universally acknowledged yardstick to measure one's level of English language proficiency. It is practically impossible for most of us to master the language overnight! Our score most probably will be the same as mock tests. It'll be okay if you directly face the exam however taking practice tests before the actual test make you more conversant with the format.

There's no need to buy any additional material for IELTS. The complimentary book in itself is a complete package. Practicing 3-4 mock tests for listening and readings should be good enough. I personally did nothing for writing section, I just went through couple of samples from the book and got an idea of how to go about it. Same goes for speaking, I just treated it like a cordial professional conversation with a stranger/interviewer.

If somebody is planning to join coaching classes especially to clear IELTS then I think it's futile. If your command over English is weak then you must look at improving on it. You may join classes for longer duration, but again for English and not for IELTS. Again, I would like to reiterate IELTS is just a scoring system, your grades will totally depend on your proficiency and there are no tips and tricks to prove language proficiency!

Are we Indians liability to our ex-countrymen outside India, eh???

Note: Purely my thoughts, my anxieties.. Please read at your own risk!

I still remember the sarcastic expression that I had made when one of my family friends had stayed with some unknown Indian family during their first visit to states back in 1998. I clearly remember the amount of jokes that I had cracked up with an aunt about this so called phenomenon of 'fellow Indians outside India are as good as family'. It was weird that how in US, UK, Canada, Australia...etc. Hindi could make people so mushy that they would actually go out of the way to help strangers. Honestly, I never believed in this then I just thought it was just another cheap trick to save money. I mean how is it possible that in this selfish world people would do such nice things without any self interest? who's got the time and energy to do so? It's not those few altruistic ones I am referring here, I am referring to the major chunk of Indians settled outside India!

In 2007, I left home for the fist time and went to Bangalore for my first job. In Bangalore, most of the  communications were in English and sometimes I used to get lucky with a four liner banter in Hindi. Marathi - my mother tongue, my most favorite language on the face of Earth seemed extinct to me! One fine evening when I was window shopping at Shopper's Stop, suddenly I had heard familiar words amongst mixture of Kannada, Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam. No offence meant to any language but they all seemed same to my ears except change in pitch and tone. I saw an elderly couple conversing in Marathi. I approached them, introduced myself and started chatting with them. I had no shame in following them till their car, just for the sake of some conversation in Marathi. Unknowingly I had  followed them everywhere in the mall, I also carried their bags and helped them pick some stuff. The joy that I had experienced then I can never express in words ever. Interestingly I was in India, my family was just a call away and I was in decent circumstances still it was such a big deal for me! Ever since then I have become a lot more sensitive to such issues. This experience has evoked deep pride and great sense of belonging in me about my state, my country.

Here I am, again on set of leaving my home, my state and most importantly my country. I know I will not only long for Marathi but also for Hindi, there. I know that any Indian face will put a smile on my face. I will need moral support from my fellow countrymen, who are now better known as NRIs in swadesh. Will they be courteous enough to return my smile, a greeting, few kind words may be? Based on all the horror stories from many people (again no offences meant, these are just the things bothering me night and day) I am harassed by these questions for which I have no answers at least sitting here in India:

Are we Indians really bad at keeping in touch, especially with our schools, colleges and ex employers?
Are we really not interested in being referred to help the newcomers from Swadesh?
Do we expect every new entrant to seek help for employment? Is that the reason why we want to maintain safe distance from them?
Do we really see our fellow countrymen as a potential threat to our existence in that country?
Is guiding someone new is so much pain that we keep shying away?
Have we westernized ourselves so much that the Indian values have evaporated with our Indian DNA?
Do we laugh at the misery of a fellow countrymen in society?
Are our feelings dead along with our accent?

I don't know the answers to any of these questions, I also don' know how true/relevant are they. All I know is that if I am able to pursue  my current dreams. My answer to all these questions will be a big NO. I don't know the scale and the magnitude but I will always be there for my countrymen, no matter what! I am born Indian, and I shall stay one till my last breath!

''Garvach naahi tar Maaj aahe mala Marathi aslyacha!''


Image courtesy: Google images
Disclaimer: No offences meant to any particular person or community, these are the questions that have turned me insomniac for past few days!